I’m kinda freaking out. Life got weird yesterday. So, I started distancing myself from my family in 2017 when I stopped going to family gatherings. However, I did stay in touch with my aunt Tracy. When my mom died 3 months ago, I didn’t know where I stood with my family. I stayed in touch to some degree for my mother who had been sick for a long time but my mother and I stopped attending family events years ago. But we did stay in touch. I’d get angry at her sometimes for speaking to them though. I’ve also got an older half brother from my mom’s first marriage (she had me in her second marriage which was to my dad). Anyway, Jonathan (my older half brother) and I have never been close. When I was 4, my parents divorced and Jonathan went back to live with his dad, while I stayed with my mother. Anyway, since my mom got sick over Christmas, I’ve been forced into speaking to my family more. Aunts, uncles, and brother included. I was also forced to see them some since January but I did the best I could since my mom was dying. Anyway, she died on January 30th and yesterday, I finally made a decision on where I stand with my family. My aunt Tracy was texting me yesterday asking me a hundred and one questions about Bobby, his job history, how long he worked at each job he ever had, how old he was, why was he getting paid so much money every month in social security, etc. I’m thinking “Bitch, even my own mama never interrogated me like this!” So I finally stopped responding to her questions because I’m too fucking old to be giving anyone an explanation on my life or my fiance’s entire life history! I still don’t know why she was asking these questions about him but I felt like it was out of line. Then my brother called me last night and it was just awkward. Again, we’ve never been close and I didn’t know where our relationship stood when our mom died but he is making some effort to stay in touch. But he just makes me feel so stupid sometimes. Of course he’s college educated and super smart. But it just went awkward last night. So, like I’m at this weird place where I’m trying to decide if I want to keep my family in my life anymore since my mom died and what place in my life they play. Because, again, I stopped seeing them for a reason and would have stopped speaking to them too if it wasn’t for my mom. I just want to distance myself from them completely and live my life without having to answer to anyone. I am grown, after all.
Bobby also told me yesterday that he’s getting evicted from his apartment and he’s wanting to move in with me full time and I just don’t think I’m ready for that and I’m trying to figure out how to handle the situation. I don’t want to live with him full time again. We tried it once and it was hell. We lasted 8 months living together before I moved out and now he’s wanting to move in together again and I just don’t know if I want a man living with me full time. I like my independence and being able to send him home when I want. So I gotta figure out how to handle that situation as well because I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment again. Not just yet. 🙁
2:08 p.m: I’m just now able to add a picture to today’s blog post! I always try to add a picture to every post but it wouldn’t let me this morning because WordPress was being a dick! Anyway, enjoy today’s picture. 😉
Beautiful I understand about your family struggles.. advice if it make your life easier don’t bother communicating with them yes there family but blood don’t mean anything look at where you stand in the pass with them did they help or guide you in tough times lend a hand if your life was good before all this cut the off … Enjoy day
thanks 🙂
Hello princess, don’t stress about your family members. Find your peace of mind when making decisions. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with any decision you make. Take care of yourself, pretty princess, and have a nice day.
thanks 😉