Category: Family

Life is going good right now! It’s cold outside (fucking freezing!!!) and there’s some snow on the ground but I’m hoping it’s nice enough outside to get out of the house tomorrow to go and do something because I am getting some major cabin fever. I decided to splurge today and order lunch from Arby’s and it was scrumptious.

I’ve had so much going on with my mom. She’s on full life support from the effects of COVID and we still don’t know if she’s going to make it. She’s unconscious, sedated, and in a medically induced coma, all trying to get her lungs to heal. There’s been no significant changes but we’re still praying and hoping for a miracle.

I’m just completely exhausted. I’ve lost 17 lbs in 3 weeks and am not getting enough sleep. I’m just running on empty. All I want is for my mom to be okay and come home but I just don’t know if or when that will ever happen. I’m just trying to stay busy and go on with my life. Being on my webcam and interacting with fans and just chilling and having fun definitely helps. 😉

My mom was put into a medically induced coma yesterday and put onto a ventilator to help her breathe. Essentially, she’s  on life support. This COVID is absolutely destroying her and I don’t know if she’s going to make it out alive and my heart is broken. I’m absolutely devastated. I’m trying to go about my normal life and focus on camming and interacting with fans and I’ve been staying busy with friends, family, and my fiance Bobby. So I’m hanging in there.  I spent the day with family yesterday as they hooked my mom up to the machines to help her breathe and they were a huge support and amazing. I don’t know what’s going to happen but all I know is I love my mother more than my own life and I’d give anything to make her better and bring her home. That woman is my heart and my soul and my reason for living. We’ve always been exceptionally close so it’s just brutally painful to see her suffering like this and to see the fear in her eyes yesterday before they put her under and hooked her up to life support. The last thing I said to her was I loved her. 🙁

It felt so good to stay at home all day yesterday and just lay around in bed and on the couch doing absolutely nothing. I’ve been sick with COVID for a week and while it’s improved some, I’m still pretty sick and out of it. I caught it from my mom who surprisingly enough, got it when she was recently in the hospital, and they discharged her and 4 days later, she’s back in the hospital because of COVID – that she got while in the hospital! She’s elderly, diabetic and disabled so she’s a high risk COVID patient so she’s quarantined on a floor in the hospital hooked up to an IV and antibiotics trying to beat this shit. On top of that, she’s anemic and had pneumonia on top of COVID. I’m young and am vaccinated against COVID so I have that on my side but my mom is old and unvaccinated so she’s worse off than I am and I hate seeing her suffer like this. Especially around the holidays. She spent Christmas in the hospital. But Christmas wasn’t all bad for me. I made a huge roast in the Crock-Pot and had Bobby over Christmas Day and we hung out at home binge watching “Dahmer” on Netflix and cuddling, watching TV and relaxing. We even made a trip up to the hospital to see my mom that day. It was the best Christmas I’ve had in awhile, despite being sick. I’m still doing cam shows and whatnot while sick, although I’ve had to cut back some due to being sick but as long as I have the energy, I’ll be camming! It’s hard to stay away from being naughty, what can I say? 😉

7:42 a.m. Good morning!! I’m so excited. My mom is home and out of the hospital. She had been transported to a rehab center for physical therapy on Monday but by Wednesday, she was dying to come home after being locked up in a hospital for 2 weeks so I let her check out early and leave. I mean, it’s Christmastime and when my mom is calling me, begging to be able to go home and she’s crying, yeah, I’m gonna help her get home. At least now we can spend Christmas together and life can get back to normal. I just want my life to get back to normal again and get back into my hobbies like reading, writing, watching movies, playing my Nintendo Switch, and just enjoying life again. The last two weeks have been hard. I’m just thankful my mom is okay. It was a real scare this time with her kidneys failing but she seems to be doing okay now.

Today, I’ve gotta make my way up to the vape shop to get more juice for my vape and other than that, I’m chilling at home today relaxing. I’ve been so tired and run down these past couple of days so I’m gonna catch up on my rest today. <3

4:41 a.m.: I’m not a big fan of weekends and haven’t been since I was in high school. Yeah, occasionally my sister and I might get together for drinks or something over a weekend but the week  is where all the action happens, not the weekends. On the weekend, everything kinda comes to a standstill. But that’s one reason I cam so much on weekends. To get a little action in!

I’ve been on such a Starbucks kick lately. I just love their caramel ribbon crunch frappucinos. And they have these Christmas cookies with icing on them to make them look like penguins. They’re almost too cute to eat but so delicious!

I got my Christmas gift in from my dad last night. It’s a beautiful sterling silver necklace with two hearts on it. One to symbolize the father, and one to symbolize the daughter. It came with a poem and it was a really touching gift. My dad has always been really good at picking out gifts and it meant a lot to me.

My mom might be getting released from the hospital. Her kidneys are still pretty bad off but they’re stable. Not getting any better, but not getting any worse. So when she gets released from the hospital, she’ll be going to an inpatient rehab facility to work on her legs with some physical therapy and then she’ll be home so we’re both excited. 😉

My mom is still in the hospital with kidney failure. I’ve been down there every day visiting her. I miss her so much and can’t wait for her to come home but we have to get her kidneys better first before they release here, then she might be going to an inpatient rehab facility for a little while for physical therapy. It’s just my mom has never been this sick before and I’m scared shitless. I had to call an ambulance for her Wednesday morning and she’s been in the hospital ever since. I’m just nor ready to lose one of my parents and am hoping she’ll be okay.

I’ve just been trying to stay busy and not think about things. I’ve spent a lot of time on my webcam having fun doing that and have been cleaning my place up a lot and straightening things and also sleeping a lot which always helps. I just can’t wait for life to get back to normal again. I’m just trying to focus on the positive and be strong. It’s been a really rough few days.

Today has been a weird day. In fact, last night was weird too I dunno how to explain it but when I went to bed last night, there was a weird vibe going on. Like maybe I went to bed with a bad feeling? Anyway, I woke up this morning about 8 am, and my mom who was staying with me, fell asleep in her recliner last night and woke up this morning saying she couldn’t stand up and was feeling funny and her speech was slurred, so since she was talking funny and couldn’t get up, I called 911, and paramedics came out and took her to the hospital. My mom has suffered a stroke before so we wanted to be safe, so off she went to the heart hospital where I live who specializes in stroke. Well, they ran tests and luckily, it’s not a stroke. She has a UTI and it caused sepsis, so she’s septic. Luckily, it’s not severe and hasn’t done any damage to her organs. She’s still kind of confused and loopy but that’s normal with a UTI and sepsis. So she’ll be in the hospital for 3-4 days to give the antibiotics a chance to work and then she might be going to an  inpatient facility for some physical therapy to help make her legs stronger. Hopefully she’ll be home soon!

I’m chillin’ at home tonight, fixing to light up a joint and have some naughty fun on my webcam! I’m waiting for Bobby to show up real quick to get his sleeping pills and when he leaves, I’m gonna toke up and relax, chill, and get frisky on my webcam. It sounds like a good time to me! 😉

The guy I buy my smoke from has some really good Vietnamese weed he grew and this shit is as strong as fuck. It’s still wet because it’s just come off the plant, so I have to dry it out and then roll it and smoke it but it’ll definitely relax you and put you in a damn good mood! I’ve been smoking quite a bit since Friday, the day after Thanksgiving and when Bobby left. It was nice to sit back, chill and relax and smoke a hit after being so busy all day Thursday. I’m not as big on holidays as I was when I was a kid, especially since I’m the one doing all the cooking and cleaning! But the magic of the holidays often times fade as you get older. I miss the old family get togethers my family used to have every holiday before the slowly drifted apart. But I am grateful for still having my parents, my sister and my fiance. <3

I hope you all have a wonderful week! I’m waiting for my burger and fries to be delivered in from Uber Eats. I’m starving!!! <3