I’m still hanging on and trying to move forward with my life, although I’m suffering a tremendous amount of grief and loss over my mom dying 12 days ago. I miss her so much I can’t stand it and I have a lot of guilt over mistakes that I’ve made. She was my very best friend, my reason for living, my reason for breathing, my reason for getting up in the morning, and now that she’s gone, I’m having trouble finding reasons to get out of the bed in the morning. It’s just like this huge hole inside my heart is missing and will never heal. I try and stay busy and stay strong. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my cats and with Bobby. My Uncle Phillip came over Sunday to bring some of my mom’s things from the funeral like flowers and the eulogy and funeral programs. It just hurts so bad that she died. I’ve never experienced a loss this profound before. They say time heals all wounds. I hope they’re right because this pain now seems never ending and I’m just devastated and shattered on the inside. I feel so lost without my best friend here. I died with her that day and I’ll never be whole again. 
